Defeat, failure, lack of success is basic things anyone could suffer from. Situations which provoke such sufferings can arise in any activity during the lifetime. That’s why attitude to the lack of success is an important characteristic of personality, which defines human behavior in different situations. Attitude towards defeat is being shaped in the process of suffering from a significant defeat.
Very often people insist that sportsman shouldn’t worry about his/her defeat, they usually say: “Forget it, it’s not so important.” in order to reduce the depth of his/her sufferings. However, this attitude can be harmful for personal experience of the sportsman, especially a child. It is necessary to overcome on the emotional level the situation of defeat and to profit by the experience which will make a person stronger. It is possible to profit only through emotional experience. Sportsman won’t be able to profit by rational estimation of the situation. Sportsman needs from 2-3 to 48 hours to suffer and overcome the defeat situation on his/her own, it is important to feel the grief of defeat, wreckage of everything, despair. Some people prefer to suffer alone, others share their grief with the person who can understand but doesn’t try to influence on the depth of suffering and to decrease the importance of the situation. This the time, when person psychologically overcomes the situation.
Defeat also can be essential
Many parents are worried about the fact that sport wins and defeats can have a detrimental effect on child psyche. Every child experiences positive and negative phases of his/her life individually, there no general recipes and rules for that. There were situations in elite sport when young and talented sportsmen suddenly retired because of psychological trauma in consequence of sudden defeat or they couldn’t overcome star sickness after dizzy success.
In such situation coach very often comes to the rescue, he/she should definitely be a subtle psychologist. Sport is always an ordeal, first of all it is a test on how we can control our worries, which often become a reason of defeat.
A child, who has never lost, is a reason for real worries. It is impossible to be always the first in sport, that’s why the defeat is unavoidable. Win or defeat in competitions is always emotional outburst with negative or positive points. And it is important for a child to be supported by his/her parents in such situations. The best thing parents and coach can do is to prepare the child for possible defeat, as it is difficult for many children to overcome it.
It is necessary to explain to the child that win shouldn’t be the most important goal in sport, as the most important thing is to love sport you go in for, feel the significance of all the troubles and joy of realized expectations. Then the win will surely come! Don’t be afraid of defeat.
Young sportsman should understand that every defeat is a particular lesson he/she should profit by. There is positive even in loss.
There also the unwritten rules in sport: defeat is an impulse for self perfection, that gives an opportunity to react worthily to the failure, and it is also joy of victory that child presents to his/her competitors. Moreover, defeat can not guarantee the fact that judges or audience won’t remember the performance of the one who’s lost.
Parents should inspire their children with these facts. What is more important for a child is to realize that he/she should be decent in spite of any competitions results.
The same could be said about wins in sport. Try to explain to the child that today he/she is a winner, but tomorrow his/her clubmate will be. And that is quite just. Remember that some children easily perceive obstacles on their sport way, treat them like lessons and profit by them; others perceive failures as wreckage of their whole life. There are situations when it is necessary to struggle for moral state of a child – to explain, help to get up and go further. That’s why psychological climate in family is crucial.
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